Buhtt sex?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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