GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
