OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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