I don't usually arrange sex via text message
no, he came in my armpit
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
