shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
