That's when you crack a 10am beer
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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