spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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