Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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