That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
