Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
