is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Im part way to drunk.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
