Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
