Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Randomize
