umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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