When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
im on a boat
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