Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
