Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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