I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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