Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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