I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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