hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
you had me at cake vodka
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
