i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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