i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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