Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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