So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
