found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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