if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
