this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My underwear smells like fireworks.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
