Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize