Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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