3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
