:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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