your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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