She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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