you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
