Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
