I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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