Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
