Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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