This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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