My friends, they love my intelligence
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
