I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
