"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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