Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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