then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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