better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
