I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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