I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
