office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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