waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
