I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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