Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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