How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
