I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
