youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize