i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
