Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
