my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize