so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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