JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
