Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
