Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm drive I can fine osifer
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
