I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
