Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
