There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
