Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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