Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
