I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize