You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
