There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
