no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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