Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She even gives head with a lisp.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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