I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
